do i have your attention?
on the art of ethical attention as a writer and content creator
hello my friends! wow what a crazy few weeks it’s been (wait do i always say this. is my life just constantly crazy?). i was hoping to get this post out to you much sooner but life has been throwing me a lot of time consuming curveballs lately. but as always, we persist! two weeks ago was what has been quickly returning to my favorite week of the year. speech camp! i loved attending as a student this was my second year on staff at camp.
it’s an intense week of 9:30-5 camp for the speech team where staff give lectures, play games, teach labs, and coach students on pieces for the end of the week showcase. the guiding theme for camp this year was “the art of attention” and i gave my first lecture as a coach! this was such a special opportunity. i gave my talk on one of our greatest tenants of the avhs speech team – speech is love, speech is life. i talked about how the activity shaped me while i was on the team and beyond. i talked about this a little in my post about my first time at nationals in June, but it was really important for me to impart the message to students that there is so much to be gained from this activity regardless of competitive success. (let’s not talk about how this is partly fueled by my insecurity about being one of the only coaches for our team who doesn’t have any state or national accolades on my competitive speech transcript)
our theme for many of our labs and workshops throughout the week focused on attention. as a writer, as an artist, and as a teacher of performers, attention is a topic i think a lot about. how do we grab it, how do we keep it, how do we stay safe from negatively charged attention? i also have adhd so there is an added layer of neurodivergence the effects how i understand and spend my own attention.
in an attention economy where our individual attention is literally being monetized it’s important now more than ever that we protect what we give our attention to as well as ethically capturing attention as writers.
did anyone else watch the social dilemma when we were all trapped inside in 2020? it was a netflix documentary thathighlights the dangers of social media with interviews from algorithm engineers that worked at companies like youtube and instagram sounding the alarm on how the underlying tech of these sites is intended to get users addicted and keep them on the platform as long as possible. this was made before tiktok’s meteoric rise so i can only imagine how much worse this has gotten. when attention is viewed as a commodity it often leaves out the humanity of the individual whose attention we’re vying for. so where does that leave us as consumers and creators?
i think it is so so important to curate the experience we have when we’re online so that we are maintaining healthy internet hygiene. these are my personal values/boundaries around my social media. after one too many arguments in my comments sections back in 2020 (politics. covid. being an ethical human) i realized how mean social media was making me feel and that something needed to change. this was the point when i needed to implement some boundaries around my social media use.
i have notifications turned off on all social media apps — no pings on my phone. if i get a like or a comment, i have to actively choose to enter an app to see it. ditto any email notifications about anything.
i mute/block anything i don’t like or makes me feel bad — listen this is MY social media. idgaf if it’s an echo chamber. all your posts are clearly written with AI? blocked. you have a sexist/racist/homophobic/ableist belief that you'reyour screaming about? blocked. you are a cis man and you say something that i find remotely annoying? BLOCKED. you’re an annoying woman? BLO– actually no, i’m a girl’s girl, MUTED.
i do not engage with content that doesn’t make me feel good—this is 98% true. i will still argue with a super annoying man in my comments, i can’t stop myself. but beyond that i no longer let myself get sucked into trying to have meaningful discourse in a social media comments section. reasonable people do not live in the discourse of a social media comments section. the more attention you give something, the more the internet is going to notice and push MORE content like that into your feed. don’t feed the animals, it’s a losing battle.
when it comes to what we create and share as artists/writers/creators, i think this becomes a lot more nuanced and complicated. amie mcnee recently put out an incredible substack on just this: you’ll never be a successful artist if you’re only chasing attention. my takeaway was that some of the most viral moments of her career since she published her book did nothing to move the needle on her book sales. as artists who market themselves online, social media has trained us to believe that the metrics of our creations are all that matters. but we as creators have been conditioned to believe that, because the metrics of our creations are what matters to their bottom line, not ours.
ultimately i think the best thing we can do as creators wanting to be seen and consumed (and making money) online is to stop thinking about metrics and start thinking about people. because at the end of the day, behind every metric is an actual human. it’s an easy proposition to consider being sleazy and divisive because the content will almost certainly tickle the algorithm (how many ragebait videos have you gotten sucked into? lets be so real on this, i’ve watched at least 2 today that i should have skipped but simply could not). or you could just… not? you could focus on creating creations that come from your heart and soul rather than a place of trying to “monetize your followers”.
to be clear. i want me and you and everyone else who wants to to find a way to financially benefit from their artistry. but i have to believe there is a better way to do it than ai driven clickbait or purposefully manufactured upset. if the internet and social media have taught us anything in the last decade, it’s that attention is a gift. i hope that you and i are a part of giving that gift back with the art that we create in the name of that attention.
🩻 grey’s anatomy rewatch - dear god i’m in season 18 and i can mf taste the end in sight. i’m back to remembering-ish what’s going to happen next because i’ve watched it in the last few years. my biggest thoughts since last we spoke-
thank fucking christ almighty that i’m done with the covid season because WOOF. they took all of the worst parts of 2020 and really drove them the fuck home. the virtue signaling was strong and not fun in this one. sure i loved the beach cameos and it was so lovely to see george and lexie and mark and derek. also RIP delulu-deluca.
i most recently finished the episode of season 18 after the mid-season finale. to bring you up to date season 18 is when meredith is in minneapolis part time doing parkinson’s research and falling in love with sweet transplant surgeon nick marsh.
if you’re a diehard grey’s fan then you know the season 18 mid-finale was the biggest tease of all time, the thing grey’s fan’s have been asking for forever. owen hunt was in a car that fell over the edge of a cliff and we were led to believe that he was DEAD Y’ALL, DING DONG THE REDHEADED GRUMPY WITCH IS DEAD. we had a two month break, certain we’d never have to see his dumbass face again because he was dead af.
he was not. and we didn’t even get to see him get saved because we are still in the “trying to force grey’s watchers to also watch station 19” era. but unfortunately he is saved. eww. it’s all i can take away. eww.
for the record, no one who has gotten married to him has been glad about it. he is constantly having these last minute rushed weddings to women who immediately end up not wanting to be married to him anymore. idk at least now he’s with scummy teddy and they deserve each other. i will reserve my thoughts on his season 21 relationship drama until i circle back to it in a few weeks. but seriously fuck owen omg. 278.07/321.07 hours rewatched
(i will be so honest with y’all i wrote this weeks ago but i am absolutely not rewriting a grey’s recap. we’ll get to what else i’ve watched next time)
📚 the library break up - it got so bad y’all. at one point i had like 9 physical books checked out, 2 borrowed from other people, and 3-4 ebooks. on top of which i went out and bought a new book because i’m a deranged psychopath and i couldn’t resist visiting a romance bookstore in my neighborhood the day after i discovered it
the funniest part about this book purchase is that it’s not even a romance and i purchased it at the romance bookstore. leave it to me. anyway i was feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of books i had and i couldn’t keep up with the constant guilt paralysis. i returned them all without trying to skim them ahead of the return. the right stories will come back to me. the stories that i had because i was following someone else’s recommendation and not because i felt personally compelled to read them will probably stay back at the library or in someone else’s hands where they belong.
the library will be there when i’m ready to go back to her. i will miss her while i’m away.
📖 gifted and talented by olivie blake - the book that prompted the library breakup. btw this book was purchased almost a month ago and i am only 150 pages in. it was described to me as the plot of succession, but with magic. sign me the fuck up, i am really enjoying this and blake’s style of writing (which is very much in conversation with the reader. FUN ELECTRIC DEVICE!) masters of death has been on my tbr for months (actually it has been a casualty of the library breakup atm) and i will be reading more from this author if the rest of this book holds up to the first 150. i’ll report back! lmk if there are any other titles from her that you recommend!
🇬🇧 too much - omg what an incredible show. i love meg stalter of hacks fame so much, she is my favorite girly on that show so i was soooooooo excited to see her lena dunham premier. i thought this was so funny, so lovely, and i really appreciate a show that stars a plus size girly that doesn’t center her body at all. there was ZERO converstation about whether or not her weight made her worthy of love and i feel that is so often a trope about a plus size girl in a rom-com (think trainwreck, isn’t it romantic). i had such a fun time watching this and watching megan stalter shine. the fashion was amazing. the humor was on point. girls was a favorite show back in the day and i really do think lena has done it again with this show. i love that i found it right when it came out, no heavy anticipation, and i didn’t go into the show with any preconceived notions. it was an absolute delight that i’d recommend to anyone.
🩸 dexter original sin/dexter new blood/dexter ressurection - omg collin and i have been on a hardddddddd kick with this one (all the dexters). we had been casually watching the prequel (dexter original sin) and I LOVED. i thought the casting was incredible and so well done. i loved the storyline. i appreciated the end (SPOILER ALERT) that pretty heavily implied that brian (dexter’s brother) committed harry’s “suicide” since the narrative that harry was so horrified by dexter’s behavior doesn’t really hold up at the finale of original sin. we then jumped back into the first dexter sequel - new blood. collin and i watched this in a 24 hour stretch because we couldn’t put it down. we’d seen the first few episodes years ago and weren’t intrigued enough to re-up our paramount subscription. this time around seeing the end, i loved it. sure, the deb subbing in for harry was a little much at points but i loved her inclusion in the show. i also loved the storyline/ending, and how there’s always some way to get dex out of a jam. that brings us to dexter resurrection. this should technically be in “things in process” because there are still 3 weeks left in the season. the cast on this season is STELLAR (kristen ritter, peter dinklage, uma thurman, eric stonestreet, neil patrick harris etc) and the plot is SO fun. there are a lot of moments that have stressed me out, and the last episode i watched (i am a few weeks behind so this is not a live review) had me so surprised despite my strong desire to look ahead on episode descriptions. i am very satisfied with their return to a dexter vibe i love, and i am hoping the end of the season will live up to the hype. i also really hope this isn’t written as another mini series, i would love for this to continue on beyond this season!!
🧑🧑🧒🧒 long story short - okay WOW what a mf MASTERPIECE from bojack’s creator raphael bob-waksberg. this is a time jumping adult animated cartoon that is nothing like bojack (other than maybe some wordplay and tongue twisters galore). this show is agressively jewish and is such a fun beautiful funny heart wrenching, heart warming show about a family through the years. my writer’s group has dubbed me “the timeline queen” because i will catch any anachronism so quick. i love a show that challenges this part of me and scratches such a puzzler itch. i am already halfway through my second rewatch, and next i think i will try to tackle it in strict chronological order
alright my babes, have you watched any of these shows? please please yap about them with me, talking about pop culture is 1000% my love language.
as always, if you’re here reading my words that is such a special gift and i am so thankful to you. love you sm xoxoxoxox
p.s. here is the kesha song that inspired the title of this post. can’t believe kesha summer is almost kesha fall 😭
TOO MUCH SUPREMACY!!! i already want to rewatch!